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"She sounded scathing, her voice laced with a contempt that made me burnin a humiliation."Nooo, nooo love I haven't chatted to him for months, I've finished withhim, you know that love," I babbled."Go on then get them off, let's see what you've got on underneath."She spread her legs further, her hand slipping between them over theclinging silky material. I could hardly take my eyes off them.Reluctantly I undid my trousers and took them off revealing the creampanties I had been forced to wear home from the beauty salon."Oooo my, look at that, sissy, where did you get them? Did he give themto you?" she was enjoying humiliating me now, I swear she was."Nnnoo, I I've had these for ages," I mumbled and went to pull them offtoo."NO," she spat, "leave them on, come here let me see you sissy, yourmaster told me that you were a sissy and I want to see what a sissy youare.My face was on fire, I could have died with the shame, she was strokingherself through his red panties, running her fingers. It consumes me, abandons me, beckons me,saddens me, disappoints me, arouses me. But, then, a breakthrough: arealization. Love is an idea; it is not real. Nothing we think orfeel--especially feel--is real.Only the moment is real. The now. The incident and the event are real,but only as long as they happen, for memories, also, are unreal.Very well. Let me explain. Perhaps an example will help. My breasts arereal when their weight is in my hands--or yours. They have density, then;they are tangible; they are measurable. Unmistakably, they haveexistence. But, after the moment, when they are no longer held, they arejust ideas, nothing more than memories.Eva, my former love, says I am too philosophical: "too philosophicalfor your own good," she says. (She is not philosophical enough for herown good, I say.)Thom (is it pretentious to include the "h"? I maintain that it is; Thomor Tom insists it is not and tells me that I am a snob.)Only recently, I have begun to consider not only my breasts,.
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